Too Stupid to Live

Insanity: Repeating the same behavior and expecting different results...

I love this country. It's scenic. Unfortunately, pretty much everyone in it appears to be a god-damned imbecile. Thus, the pristine majesty of it's purple mountains would be well served by an afternoon of carpet-bombing until the meat-flavored vegetation known to meat-flavored scientists as homosapiens is rendered into maggot food.

In short - we're too stupid to live.

That I recognize this simple fact does not buy me a free pass to Treasure, Fantasy, Gilligan's or any other island, since I don't consider myself special enough to be spared the fate of my fellow mouth-breathers. Sad to say, I don't have the nerve to use Al Queda-style tactics on politicians, corporate spin-meisters, right-wing commentators, left-wing commentators, academics, red-necks, racists, anarchists, pro-bowers and FEMA officials and so, I am as guilty as sin, Enron and Karl Rove. Somewhere there's a smart little bomb with my name on it just itching to slip through the bathroom window and vaporize my pasty white ass while leaving the bowl intact and minty-fresh.

Why, you might ask, am I judge'n'jurying us out of existence? To this I reply, with all due respect, deference and gentility?

AREN'T YOU PAYING ATTENTION? - IF NOT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

First of all, There are people trying to tell you that science ISN'T science and religion IS science. They are in a Pennsylvania court right now, making like the Scopes monkey trial of yore. With pretty much the same evidence. These are the descendants of the same people who invited Galileo to shut the hell up with that annoying "Earth revolves around the Sun" nonsense. The same people who looked the other way when the Nazis incinerated Jews... the same people who piled stones on heretics to 'convince' them to recant. With such a track record, why should we trust them this time? Intelligent design, my ass. The rabid religionists simply shucked Creationism of it's outdated Nehru suit and dolled it up in more modern duds in the hopes that the great unwashed, uneducated and unthinking mass of Americans (yeah, that means you monkey-boy) will discard the renaissance and return willy-nilly to the dark ages where the pederast priests are in charge, just like in the good old days of The Inquisition. Apparently, they think that since God is getting pissed off, they'd better resort to some high-tone government-subsidized groveling, lest the world end and they wind up having to hit the Mini-mart to buy Satan a pack of smokes on their way to the eternal Easy-Bake oven.

They might very well use those Doublemint Twins, Katrina and Rita as examples of God's wrath. Except it wasn't the most high who diverted funds from fixing levees and appointed a horse-training party planner to run FEMA. Nor was it our Dear Lord commanded Dubya's Mom to say 'a cot and a hot' (slang for what you get when spending a night in jail) is an improvement over the daily lives of the poor New Orlineans who wound up risking life and limb at the 'dome.

As if that wasn't enough, Barbara's bouncing baby boy, the current Jackass-in-Chief, brays out of both sides of his mouth, asking Americans to conserve energy whilst flying that ever so fuel efficient Air force One down to photo-ops in the flood-torn gulf. Hypocrisy is clearly being built out of bigger hippos than ever.

Where is leading by example? Where is the government subsidy for all things solar? Where is the President when people in the richest country this side of Mars have to choose between ANYTHING and heating their homes? Where is the push for real electric-hybrid cars - the ones that DO exist, DO plug in, and DO net out 180 miles per gallon? Yes, real technologies that'd cut oil use seriously... Ahh, but that answers the question, doesn't it? Anything that slakes the flow of dollars to the richest of the rich is taboo. During this national emergency oil companies enjoyed astronomically increased profits - three times what they earned a year ago, but that's OK, Georgie, we're only bleeding. And freezing in our oil heated palaces and/or hovels.

When faced with World War Two and the need to build our Air Force, President Roosevelt said we'd make 50,000 planes… and people thought he was crazy... Well, we didn't build 50,000 planes… we built 100,000! If we can't wake up in the face of national disaster and point our priorities at the sun and the wind, instead of the fast-diminishing puddle of dead dinosaurs, we really ARE too stupid to live.

By the way, the epigram above is a quote from the late Senator Everett Dirksen, whose skills as an orator far outstripped all but a few of the current, semi-literate occupants of the U.S. Capitol.